A sense of community - through food.

Mom and I have been trying to figure out just the right weekend for her and Dad to come visit (it's been a while). Part of the conversation eventually pulled itself towards the ever-burning question of what to do in the evenings. Should we (Mom and Dad) come up on Friday or Saturday? If it's Friday, then what will Dad do during the day? Golf. With whom? Hmmm....

Ok. Let's come Saturday. Afternoon.

Perfect.

Ah, but where to eat? Have drinks? What type of food? Oh, the questions never end.

The funny thing is, when Mom comes to visit on her own, there is rarely a question. Red Wine. Pasta. With Italian sausage-flavored turkey meat. And some garlic bread. The biggest question usually looming for us is - which movie to watch and when to start cooking. Dad would (and sometimes does) disapprove of our homebody-ness. But we like it. It opens us up for all kinds of cooking conversation.

And isn't that interesting...the act of cooking opens us up to this ability to discuss things we normally might not. I don't think it's too far from fishing or driving. When our hands are busy, our minds are able to divulge. It is the time to bring us back into our fold.

It reminds me of my family. Both the women and the men. Thanksgiving - the aunts - cooking in the kitchen. Christmas - the aunts - cooking in the kitchen. (Oh, my mom is included in "the aunts") Summer - the men - grilling on the patio. Early Autumn - grilling again.

What is it about family and food? Why do we so strongly tie ourselves together?

I ask these questions, knowing the answer. Communal. We allow ourselves the opportunity to give to each other in a nourishing way. We feed each through conversation, recipes shared across generations and families. We feed each others' health. We grow together - in more than one way, I suppose.

So I ask - beyond the obvious socialization answer - why do we always insist upon "taking you out to eat"? What happened to cooking a meal for each other and sharing in a communal meal? Who decided it was better to take someone out rather than take the time to prepare a meal together?